1. e-MOVING

    I’ve officially moved!

    Change your links!

    Change your favorites!

    I’ll see you here:

    http://megsawardwinningblog.blogspot.com/

    bye bye tumblypie

    1 year ago

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  2. Shut up- let's talk about dinosaurs

    The kid’s version of Clif bars are the tastiest treats this side of the Mississippi (bonus PF tip) so I’ve convinced myself that they fill all of the trapezoids I usually leave empty in my food pyramid. I took off on my epic 10 minute journey to purchase my rectangular broccoli substitute, and heard 3 separate conversations about the craaaaaazy wintry weather on the way. Strangely, the whole situation was just like watching Crash because it brought like, 9 people from different walks of life together: one younger guy walked past saying “I second you on that! High five!” to a group of middle-aged office ladies talking about how tired they were of the gloomy weather. They all laughed and got a smile of approval from yet another chipper group of multicultural women coming the other way. I’m not kidding. The photographer for OHSU brochures missed a perfect chance to demonstrate the diversity of employees in a warm, welcoming environment!

    Anyway. I came back to leisurely— pronounced lezshurly— check the news, and three of the four election articles were about how tired Obama, Clinton and voters are of the democratic primaries. Unfortunately, there wasn’t an older Native American man present to offer me a sympathetic high five, so I couldn’t get misty-eyed about humanity shedding their differences and coming together over being tired about something, but maybe next time.

    The point is, we really need some better small talk to get us through to June. I’m tired of hearing about how tired people are of these two topics, so let’s spice it up! Next time you hear someone say “oh man, the weath…” just cut them off and start talking about little kangaroos! or little skirts …the rise in popularity of carrot curry soup, or preferences in companionship if stuck in an elevator! Cloned dogs! or what you would look like with Hilary Clinton’s hair—the arm similarities between preying manti and T-rex…anything! 

    It’s going to be a good May.

    1 year ago

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  3. Western Wednesdays

    One of the best ways to test those acquaintances with the potential to become your friend is to nonchalantly insert a cliche in conversation and see how your PF (potential friend) responds. Rachel and I decided the experimental results could be made more robust by introducing a Western element: instead of saying “Workin’ hard or hardly workin’?!?!” you could liven it up by starting with “Hey bucko!!!”

    Depending on your lifestyle choices, you might hope your PF’s response is a hearty laugh and a heartfelt response, or if you’re more like me, you’ll hope for a facial flash of disgust, a skeptical laugh, and no real answer.

    To accelerate your accumulation of acquaintances-turned-best-friends, I’ll help you out each Wednesday with a new cliche to try out on your PF circle. All will include a hand-selected Western element, and each should be said with an annoying amount of enthusiasm.

    Today’s is: “Well, ranger, that’s the way the cookie crumbles!”

    Tell me your results.

    1 year ago

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  4. Popular scent!

    I was the least rhythmically inclined member of my high school dance team, and Kelly suffers every week throughout my entire piano lesson. I’m an orca mug bandit of lyrics, and when I do remember a few, my voice sounds not unlike a 5 year old girl pretending she’s Mariah Carey. But that doesn’t mean I’m not prepared to be a pop star! I’ve already designed a perfume! It will be called: ABUNDANT BANDAID ESSENCES.

    My morning does not reach its excitement pinnacle when I pour coffee into my mug or discover more about the mysteries of neuroscience, but much earlier, when I am on my way to the lab. I walk through what is known to hospital visitors as the Outpatient Clinic, but what I refer to as the JACKPOT OF PLENTITUDINOUS BANDAID SCENT. I get irritable with the person who might happen to be walking behind me because I can’t slow down my walking pace enough to stay in the bandage zone for a few seconds longer, and I smile when I get caught behind anyone lost or with a walker.

    Unfortunately, I haven’t yet been discovered as a hot new pop talent, so you’ll have to wait for my big Perfume Release party. But hey! Start promoting it now by adhering a large-size bandaid to your throat, a couple papercut-sized ones under each ear, maybe a few circular ones on your wrists…you’ll smell ravishing. At least to me.

    1 year ago

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  5. High five!

    The age of the “Free pizza!!” bribe to lure you to the join the upcoming Diversity Development round table discussion (nobody likes round table discussions!) is over. But stop getting all nostalgic and disenchanted with the Diversity Development team — haven’t you noticed that your chances to WIN A FREE IPOD!!!! now surpass your opportunities to eat free pizza? The eligibility requirements are increasingly relaxed, too: a few weeks ago Lindsay sent me a brochure requiring I design a poster for an iPod prize, and this week a flyer at work advertises that all I have to do is show up at a product fair at a specified time in a specified room, and I’ll have a chance to win!

    But there’s no reason to waste your time being creative or subjecting yourself to perky product fair salespeople. If the number of opportunities to win an iPod continues to increase at a rate inversely proportional to the difficulty of the task required, then I am confident that soon I will be rewarded with my shiny little 80-gig rectangle any day now, just for being me. The flyer will read “Brown hair? Argyle socks? Walking North? FREE IPOD!!” and someone will pop out of a bush and hand it to me.

    So in the meantime, when I see a motivation-requiring iPod flyer, I just give it a little high five and a knowing smile and continue on my way.

    1 year ago

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  6. Last week I got all nostalgic over the old version of Microsoft Word (Word 2007 just isn’t the same!) and the week before, I reminisced about the month I baked more bagels. I can’t help but get sentimental about this treasure from May 2005 when we did the exact same thing last night, just in a different city, on a different color of couch cover. I miss you guys.
    Last week I got all nostalgic over the old version of Microsoft Word (Word 2007 just isn’t the same!) and the week before, I reminisced about the month I baked more bagels. I can’t help but get sentimental about this treasure from May 2005 when we did the exact same thing last night, just in a different city, on a different color of couch cover. I miss you guys.

    1 year ago

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  7. 1 year ago

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  8. You would be terrible Campus Safety officers (Winner announcement!)

    I host a free lecture series at the airport every few months entitled “Safety is vague.” They’re impromptu events, and you’re most likely to catch them immediately after the Department of Homeland Security announcement notifies the airport populace of the current safety color. From a distance, it might look like I’m just a recently-turned-very-liberal-by-my-sociology-class college freshman complaining about how dumb it is to have a color-coded threat meter, and how are we supposed to act any different, and isn’t the American government stupid for controlling people using FEAR? Well you’re wrong. That was in 2003, and the series has really evolved since then. You’ll have to come to PDX sometime and check it out.

    I gather a lot of my lecture material from the radio, and was super-pumped to learn that there is, surprisingly, a more vague way to describe safety than “orange.” It takes the form of a paragraph released by a university’s Campus Safety office on how to guard against another school shooting. The general premise was “Students should be aware of suspicious activity and notify the correct departments so we are able to enact policies and procedures in an organized and safe manner.” It was, of course, longer than one sentence, and with each one I got closer and closer to the radio, and the description became more and more general until finally, it stopped.

    I was too excited to write it down as I listened, and rather than download the podcast, I thought I’d ask my huge fan base to come up with a paragraph for me. The winner not only gets zucchini bread but also an honorable mention in my next lecture. Unfortunately, most of you would be terrible Dept of Homeland Security employees and even worse Campus Safety officers— you’re too specific and made me laugh too hard. I will not write you a letter of recommendation for either of these positions.

    And now, the winner for the most vague safety statement is: Lindsay!

    Runner-up: Charmin bear! (scroll through comments to see her answer)

    Loser: Scott! (again, scroll)

    Congratulations! You are free to put this on your resumes.

    1 year ago

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  9. Safety contest

    Please write a paragraph about how safe you feel. Just in general. The person with the most vague description wins zucchini bread.

    1 year ago

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  10. WOOPS wore my spandex pants to work again!? SILLY ME.

    I bought a bike last night, which means by next week I’m going to be chastising you for even considering driving, regardless of any lightning or hailstorms or tornadoes. The only two things I’ll talk about are how great Portland is and how crazy the bike in to work was today. I will constantly wear spandex pants and a helmet and when the person in the seat behind me at a lecture asks if I can duck so they can see past my helmet, I’ll say “OH MAN! SILLY ME! I’m just so used to biking that I didn’t even notice I was still wearing my cycling clothes! Isn’t Portland great?” When someone’s not pointing out my helmet, I’ll demand attention by whispering to myself “hm wooo gotta clean my brakes…fill up my waterbottle…” while stroking my bike and occasionally glancing upwards to see if someone will PLEASE ask me about my bike. 

    Shoutout to the Cycling Salon, whose owners happen to be Mladen’s coworkers, our new best friends, and the least annoying bikers I know.   

    1 year ago

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