1. Popular scent!

    I was the least rhythmically inclined member of my high school dance team, and Kelly suffers every week throughout my entire piano lesson. I’m an orca mug bandit of lyrics, and when I do remember a few, my voice sounds not unlike a 5 year old girl pretending she’s Mariah Carey. But that doesn’t mean I’m not prepared to be a pop star! I’ve already designed a perfume! It will be called: ABUNDANT BANDAID ESSENCES.

    My morning does not reach its excitement pinnacle when I pour coffee into my mug or discover more about the mysteries of neuroscience, but much earlier, when I am on my way to the lab. I walk through what is known to hospital visitors as the Outpatient Clinic, but what I refer to as the JACKPOT OF PLENTITUDINOUS BANDAID SCENT. I get irritable with the person who might happen to be walking behind me because I can’t slow down my walking pace enough to stay in the bandage zone for a few seconds longer, and I smile when I get caught behind anyone lost or with a walker.

    Unfortunately, I haven’t yet been discovered as a hot new pop talent, so you’ll have to wait for my big Perfume Release party. But hey! Start promoting it now by adhering a large-size bandaid to your throat, a couple papercut-sized ones under each ear, maybe a few circular ones on your wrists…you’ll smell ravishing. At least to me.

    1 year ago

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